Thanks for spending all that time on multitouch support Adobe, I’ll sure remember that when I’m dragging my fingers across my screen like an imbecile… oh hang on that will never happen because we found out holding your arm out to a screen was a terrible idea back in the 70’s when we stopped using light pens. Computers and Windows 7 only include mutitouch because the iPhone is popular and stupid marketing departments are trying to push that as a feature on the naive public when its utterly useless.

So yeah good job spending time on that when your piece of shit software still uses my entire processor just to play a crappy quality video and draw a few buttons, love having my computer fan going full blast while trying to watch a video.

Face facts Adobe, your “RIA platform” is in reality just a codec for looking at videos of funny dogs on YouTube, thats what 80% of people use it for, thats what you should focus on making actually work on all platforms. If you don’t someday HTML 5 video will be everywhere and Flash will be nowhere and you’ll be looking around wondering what the fuck went wrong.

1:36 pm  •  17 November 2009

Flash: So Flash won’t show the font you want to use, so you try and trick it by copying and pasting the text in the font from Fireworks to Flash and this is what you get.

Bravo Flash team, just when my expectations for your work have reached rock bottom, you manage to dig your hole even deeper. I’m so fucking happy you spent time on stupid shit like the deco brush (who the hell artworks in Flash?) and that IK engine (runs so choppy no one uses it) instead of making something as basic as fonts work in your complete joke of a program.

4:54 pm  •  16 November 2009

Hey Flash team!

Hows about making your program work with every font on my system, it’s not like I’m using an obscure font format because they’re just .ttf and your piece of shit software won’t let me use the one font that the client wants. My fucking text editor can use it so why can’t your pricey piece of shitware?

4:49 pm  •  16 November 2009

Adobe gets bitchy over the iPhone and Flash, bit of an insight from the reddit thread :

About six months ago, a friend who was working closely along side adobe’s flash application development team told me that they received a prototype of Flash for iPhone. The prototype allowed the iPhone to have less than half an hour of battery life using flash. They then sent the prototype to apple and suggested incorporating this prototype iPhone flash into the iPhone OS in the next update.

Apparently apple sent this letter back thanking them for being interested in developing a working version of flash for the iphone but because the prototype is so processor intensive, and awful for battery life, they would not include it with their OS because it is just not good enough. They suggested using the gpu instead of the processor to render flash. Then they suggested building a seperate app for flash and web browsing because there was no way apple could endorse flash integration on the iphone in its current state.

Adobe apparently didn’t want to release the app under their name either and it never showed up in the app store.

A long story in short: Adobe sucks at programming, then apple told them they sucked at programming. If they want to release that shit under the name adobe so be it, but it sure isn’t going to be endorsed by Apple.

That was the last they saw of that prototype.

12:47 pm  •  3 November 2009

Flash: LOOK AT THIS FUCKING FONT MENU!

• Tiny fiddly custom scroll bar, overshoot and it closes the menu
• HARD CODED WINDOWS 95 SELECTION COLOUR!
• Stolen Windows opentype/type1/true type icons with messy anti-aliasing on the opentype one
• UTTERLY FUCKING USELESS PREVIEWS, yeah can totally tell the difference between those Gothams, you can tell this shit was only approved by developers no designer looked at that before it got shipped because firstly they’re too fucking small to be of any use and secondly what sort of designer needs font previews in a fucking menu? Leave that shit where it belongs next to word art, if I want to browse fonts I’ll do it in my font manager, I’d rather have my font menu open quickly without previews.
• Love how the tick is off center too, looks like it doesn’t want anything to do with those shitty windows icons.
• Doesn’t support consecutive searching, e.g typing “Hel” will take you to fonts starting with L not Helvetica

Look Flash team, its about time you started using your own software. I understand you are all a bunch of massive nerds and would rather play in Eclipse or Flash Develop but some of us actually have to use your unwanted child and would greatly appreciate it if you started using it yourself so that it wasn’t a pile of shit. I mean half the stuff you are putting in there feels like indulgent rubbish because your bored of programming the UI, like that IK tool I mean its a nice idea but it was just too processor intensive to actually use in any project, and the deco brush nice concept but who the hell designs in Flash? no one because the IDE is such a fucking mess. All the new features just feel like little indulgent things to keep developers occupied because they haven’t a clue where to take the IDE next because none of them use it.

I mean look at that motion editor, it felt like a developer had been given a checklist of things required by the motion editor and then just added them and ticked them off without even thinking about how anyone would use the fucking thing. I have yet to hear from a designer that has even touched it because its so fucking tedious to get it to do the slightest thing correctly, especially when you can’t even use your mousewheel to scroll the thing without risking changing all your values.

Thanks for everyone sending things in, I’ll get through them after my holiday.

11:59 am  •  14 October 2009

Don’t think I’ve ever seen a game where dragging a slider control ran at about 5 FPS.

Also looking forward to every Flash developer on the net throwing enough shit at the App Store walls hoping some will stick.

10:43 am  •  6 October 2009

Flash: >Tried to do a 20/20 blur — I can type 20 in the first box, but in the second only 2. Entering 0 might as well be hitting return.

Thanks Syke

2:36 am  •  24 September 2009

Installer: No browsers were even running, this wouldn’t be so bad if everyone wasn’t crying over how insecure flash is and people shipping older versions of it lately.

Thanks pbear

3:54 pm  •  23 September 2009

WTF IS THIS ADOBE? Was the standard window UI too complicated to implement?! Someone looked at this in CS4 beta and said: yes, we can ship with that.

This is the bottom right corner of Flash CS4’s main window. Guess if you can resize it (hint: yes)

2:33 pm  •  22 September 2009

Flash: No better at faking UIs on windows either, least the branding department is happy though.

Thanks Ryan

11:13 am  •  4 September 2009